Funny Christmas Poems for Kids

A selection of humorous Christmas poems suitable for children of all ages, which are intended to be read for pleasure. However, the poems could prove useful if a teacher asks (by which one really means forces) you to choose a poem to recite during a lesson, or worse still at a school concert or carol service.

Global Good Wishes

Paul doesn't much like the Americans - they're lardy, uncouth and have done more than any other nation to destroy the English language. This otherwise warm Christmas poem offers a strong rebuke to those tempted to use the dreaded Americanised Christmas greeting.

Christmas Chill

A humorous, almost nonsensical poem about the need to unwind at Christmas, rather than let the festivities get you all wound up.

Christmas was coming…

A reworking of an old saying or 'sooth', which somehow involves the Atkins diet. For those not familiar with the Atkins diet - and most kids thankfully aren't - it forces you to eat everything which is unhealthy (sausages, steaks, burgers, lard) and leaves you looking thin, but distinctly unwell.

Fall Of The Snowman

I must confess that I don't entirely understand this poem and Timmy wasn't able to offer any help at all. Perhaps you'll be on Paul's wavelength and succeed where we failed.

Christmas Post

Mildred's visit to the local post office to buy her Christmas stamps leaves her with a terrible dilemma...

Cool Yule

A humorous Christmas poem about the excitement of breaking up from school and the anticipation of the Christmas festivities to come.

Kids Don’t Understand Christmas

It's sometimes said that adults enjoy Christmas more than children, a sentiment echoed by this warm, uplifting poem.

The Ghost of Christmas Past

A rather curious Christmas shape poem, which takes the form of two christmas trees in pre-Christmas and post-Christmas plumage. WARNING 1: I've switched the lights off on the website so that you can better appreciate the beauty of the poem. WARNING 2: Don't try a put the fallen words back together an make sense of them. The only person who previewed the poem tried the unjumbling trick and is expected to be out of hospital soon!

Fair Exchange is No Robbery

What are you hoping to get in your Christmas stocking this year? In years gone by the Christmas stocking ritual used to be very formulaic, your highest expectations being a Satsuma, or if you were really lucky, a bar of chocolate. However, if you'd be naughty all year, you'd get a lump of coal instead. In return, you have to lay out for Santa all sorts of tasty treats. Is that fair?

Jingle Bells

A parody of the Christmas song Jingle Bells, but reaches a pleasingly comic conclusion via a cartoonish heist.

The Silent Dawn

A warm and uplifting poem about the behaviour of two scatter-brained parents on Christmas morning.

Merry Christmas Sir

A poem by Paul which will strike a chord with anyone who has their newspaper delivered by a paperboy/papergirl/paperperson, or more likely these days, a paperOAP.

Christmas Herald

Is it a Christmas poem? Or a Halloween poem? In fact it's a bit of both and is dedicated to those grumpy old men who moan if Christmas decorations are put up before Christmas Eve.

Visiting Santa

It's an annual ritual for many kids, visiting Santa in his grotto. Yet even the most ardent Santa fan must occasionally wonder why he looks quite so comical.

Christmas Getaway

The second in our trio of funny Santa poems, which offers an answer to the question 'What does Santa do as soon as he's finished delivering Christmas gifts?'

Sad Santa

In this funny poem, there's a very definite reason for Santa feeling sad and it's not that Mrs Claus has jetted off to Florida without him.

All Across This Country New 2014

You can't deliver presents the world over in just 24-hours without meticulous planning.

I Love The Smells Of Christmas New 2014

The sights, the sounds, the smells. That's why everyone, or at least very nearly everyone, loves Christmas.

If You Listen Carefully New 2014

A sweet little poem and a clever play on words combined.

If I Grew A Beard Of White New 2014

Uplifting rather than funny, this is a poem which will appeal to true believers.

Lost New 2014

A short poem by Patrick which updates the biblical story of the three kings travelling to visit the newborn baby Jesus in Bethlehem.

Yes There Is A Santa Claus

A gentle Christmas poem about Father Christmas for our younger readers.

All a bit too tame? Try some dirty Christmas poems
Funny Poems and Nonsense Verse for Kids
Copyright © Funny Poems for Kids / Patrick Winstanley 2002-2013 All Rights Reserved.
Individual poems are copyright the stated authors and used with permission