A selection of humorous Christmas poems suitable for children of all ages, which are intended to be read for pleasure. However, the poems could prove useful if a teacher asks (by which one really means forces) you to choose a poem to recite during a lesson, or worse still at a school concert or carol service.
Paul doesn't much like the Americans - they're lardy, uncouth and have done more than any other nation to destroy the English language. This otherwise warm Christmas poem offers a strong rebuke to those tempted to use the dreaded Americanised Christmas greeting.
A humorous, almost nonsensical poem about the need to unwind at Christmas, rather than let the festivities get you all wound up.
A reworking of an old saying or 'sooth', which somehow involves the Atkins diet. For those not familiar with the Atkins diet - and most kids thankfully aren't - it forces you to eat everything which is unhealthy (sausages, steaks, burgers, lard) and leaves you looking thin, but distinctly unwell.
I must confess that I don't entirely understand this poem and Timmy wasn't able to offer any help at all. Perhaps you'll be on Paul's wavelength and succeed where we failed.
Mildred's visit to the local post office to buy her Christmas stamps leaves her with a terrible dilemma...
A humorous Christmas poem about the excitement of breaking up from school and the anticipation of the Christmas festivities to come.
It's sometimes said that adults enjoy Christmas more than children, a sentiment echoed by this warm, uplifting poem.
A rather curious Christmas shape poem, which takes the form of two christmas trees in pre-Christmas and post-Christmas plumage. WARNING 1: I've switched the lights off on the website so that you can better appreciate the beauty of the poem. WARNING 2: Don't try a put the fallen words back together an make sense of them. The only person who previewed the poem tried the unjumbling trick and is expected to be out of hospital soon!
What are you hoping to get in your Christmas stocking this year? In years gone by the Christmas stocking ritual used to be very formulaic, your highest expectations being a Satsuma, or if you were really lucky, a bar of chocolate. However, if you'd be naughty all year, you'd get a lump of coal instead. In return, you have to lay out for Santa all sorts of tasty treats. Is that fair?
A parody of the Christmas song Jingle Bells, but reaches a pleasingly comic conclusion via a cartoonish heist.
A warm and uplifting poem about the behaviour of two scatter-brained parents on Christmas morning.
A poem by Paul which will strike a chord with anyone who has their newspaper delivered by a paperboy/papergirl/paperperson, or more likely these days, a paperOAP.
Is it a Christmas poem? Or a Halloween poem? In fact it's a bit of both and is dedicated to those grumpy old men who moan if Christmas decorations are put up before Christmas Eve.
It's an annual ritual for many kids, visiting Santa in his grotto. Yet even the most ardent Santa fan must occasionally wonder why he looks quite so comical.
The second in our trio of funny Santa poems, which offers an answer to the question 'What does Santa do as soon as he's finished delivering Christmas gifts?'
In this funny poem, there's a very definite reason for Santa feeling sad and it's not that Mrs Claus has jetted off to Florida without him.
You can't deliver presents the world over in just 24-hours without meticulous planning.
The sights, the sounds, the smells. That's why everyone, or at least very nearly everyone, loves Christmas.
A sweet little poem and a clever play on words combined.
Uplifting rather than funny, this is a poem which will appeal to true believers.
A short poem by Patrick which updates the biblical story of the three kings travelling to visit the newborn baby Jesus in Bethlehem.
A gentle Christmas poem about Father Christmas for our younger readers.