Funny Poetry for Children

There are over 80 original funny poems for children in the collection. To make it easier for you to find the ones you want to read, the poetry has been divided into categories according to what the poems are about. This wasn't always very easy and I'm not sure I did a very good job - the poem entitled 'Aunts' ended up in the funny animal poetry section, whereas 'Mr Toad' ended up in the funny family poems. They're there for a reason; I just can't remember what the reason was. At the end I was left with a whole heap of poems without a home - the 'Odes and Ends'.

Funny Animal Poems

A selection of funny poems by Patrick, Paul and Kate about all sorts of different animals from spiders to snails, from camels to cheetahs, from anacondas to zebras. The funny animal poetry section has lots of short funny poems about sweet cuddly animals, but beware, there are some poems that snarl and a few poems that might bite.

Funny Family Poems

A series of funny poems about families, family members (don't miss the special selection of poems about horrible aunts) and life at home. There are poems which you can recite to annoy your Dad, to amuse your friends and to make your sister feel sick. If you're new to reading poetry, this would be a really good place to get your eye in.

Poems About Famous People

We've managed to gather together a few funny poetry about famous people, some real and others fictional, some alive and others dead. You'll meet people you've learnt about in history, seen on TV and who appear in books, and find out things about them you never knew before - because I just made them up.

Funny School Poems

A selection of funny poems about school, pupils, teachers, lessons, games and all sorts of other school related activities. The school poems tend to focus on the less pleasant aspects of school, such as horrible headmasters, tedious teachers, boring lessons, disgusting food and the misfortunes that befall naughty pupils.

Funny Sports People

Funny poems about sports ranging from football to sky diving. For children who love sport, there are lots of poems about the exhilaration and exertion of competitive sports. For less enthusiastic kids, there are poems about the horrors of sport and, in particular, school games. And don't get me started on the dangers of swimming.

Humorous Poems

Lighter and fluffier than the funny poems, the humorous poems may require a bit of thought or even a second reading before you discover the amusing element. You should persevere, however, because ultimately humorous poems are cleverer, more sophisticated and more satisfying than straight funny poems.

Nonsense Verse

If you've not read any nonsense verse before, you may find Max Scratchmann's nonsense poetry a bit odd. Don't worry, it's meant to be odd, with all sorts of weird characters, fantastical situations and, oddest of all, meaningless made-up words. You'll either love it or...

Bad Children and Cautionary Verse

More of Max's poems in the nonsense verse style, but these poems are about bad children. Some are just naughty, but others are really wicked and sometimes truly evil creatures. So you'll meet Amelia who microwaved the cat and other similarly malevolent children.

Odes & Ends

Odes & Ends is reserved for the funny poems which didn't fit into the other pigeon holes, because they were too long, too fat or just the wrong shape. It's such a hotchpotch of poems, including with parodies, shape poems, anaphorisms, anacronisms and all sorts of oddities , that it's best to consider Odes & Ends as a 'lucky dip'.

Rude Poems

The rude poems for kids are slightly naughtier that the other poems and contain the odd rude word, which means that whilst they are not horribly or disgustingly rude, they are only suitable for older kids. Ask a responsible adult (Mum or Dad, possibly a teacher, but definitely not a reprobate uncle) if you're unsure about reading them.