Rude Poems

The collection of rude poems for kids is rude, but not 'rude rude' or 'adult rude', if you get my drift. The poems contain a few naughty words, such as bum, and some rather naughtier ideas. I think the rude poems are suitable for children aged 10 or over. If you're younger than 10 or a particularly sensitive soul, it would be a good idea to let an adult read them first and decide if they're suitable for you.

Blockage

Writing poems is a bit like sitting exams. Sometimes you can write and write and write, at other times you just chew your pencil and go quietly mad.

The Knicker Nicker

I started writing this poem called 'Illiteration' to illustrate a piece I was developing on alliteration poems and how alliteration is all to do with the initial sounds, not the initial letters, of words. I ended up instead with a teasing little tongue twister of a poem entitled 'The Knicker Nicker', which I hope you'll agree is much more fun, and very possibly much more useful.

Unprincipled Archimedes

Archimedes was a famous Greek mathematician, physicist and engineer who lived roughly 2,200 years ago. You might expect to find a poem about Archimedes amongst the famous people poems, but this one's included with the rude poems as it makes a rather naughty supposition about how he came to invent one of his famous inventions.

Emily the Performing Flea

What's smaller than a nit's knickers? A gnat's knackers. An odd, but strangely appropriate introduction to a poem about a performing flea who concludes her routine in a most surprising way.

Bare Back Rider

Lady Godiva's unusual protest received an unexpected amount of interest...

I Do Not Like That

A funny poem by Paul about the creatures he's afraid of...    and although its a pretty extensive list, there may a few more that you're afraid of that Paul isn't.

If You Do Nothing Else

Paul's at it again, this time with some wise words of advice about personal hygiene.

No One Listens

Boys find it hilariously funny, girls are faintly disgusted and adults consider the subject unmentionable. Where would we be without farting? Blown up to the size of a hot air balloon and floating around in outer space is the likely answer.

Rude Poems for Kids | Very Rude Poems for Kids