Odes & Ends - An Odd Mix Of Funny Poems

The selection called Odes and Ends is a mixed bag of short funny poems, which include shape poems, nursery rhyme parodies, old saws resharpened and the odd anaphorism.

A Limerick

Limericks are poems which follow a particular form and rhyming scheme and are quite often rather naughty. The Dancer is a clean, funny limerick about a young man who performs a peculiarly English type of dance.

Style

Limerick

Age Range

5-11

Length

5 lines

The Dancer

There was a young man from Weston-super-Mare
With bells on his fingers and ribbons in his hair
The locals looked askance
When he started to dance
'I'm Morris, the dancer. How dare you stare!'

Near Nonsense

A short poem which is is meant to make you think as well as laugh.

Style

Rhyming Poetry

Age Range

5-13

Length

6 lines

Hear Here

I've heard a mouse squeak
and I've heard a lion roar.

I've heard a door creak
and I've heard my Granny snore.

But I've never heard a tree bark,
nor heard a willow weep.

A Paradoxical Poem

A poem which is not a poem. Or is it?

Style

Rhyming Poetry

Age Range

5-12

Length

6 lines

Am I?

My lines do not scan.
My words do not rhyme.
I've overrun the meter, dramatically,
Not for the first time.

Am I a poem?
I am, if I say I am.

An Old Saw Resharpened

When I was a child, the great climatologists of the day were predicting an imminent ice age and instead, 30 years later, we're told that global warming is going fry us to a crisp. If a meteorologist can't tell you whether it's going to rain today, what hope is there of climatologists predicting what will happen 100 or 1,000 years hence.

Style

Old Saw Resharpened

Age Range

10-14

Length

lines

Weather Prognostications…

If buds the Holly before the May,
Global warmings on its way,
But if before the May the Holly is,
Expect an Ice Age - sincere apologies

A Twisted Shape Poem

An example of a shape poem which is what is says, and says what it is.

Style

Shape Poem

Age Range

9-14

Length

1 line

Ampersand

shape poems, shape poetry, ampersand shape poem

A Seriously Silly Poem

You wake up on Christmas morning and discover that Aunt Gladys has knitted you yet another Christmas cardigan. It could be worse...

Style

Short Rhyming Poem

Age Range

5-11

Length

4 lines

Unwanted Gift

Tick Tock, Tick Tock,
Cock-a-Doodle-Do.
An alarm cock,
How clever of you!

A Familiar Nursery Rhyme Revisited

A parody of Humpty Dumpty which doesn't leave you with egg on your face...

Style

Nursery Rhyme Parody

Age Range

10-14

Length

11 lines

Humpty

Humpty Dumpty
Sat on a wall
But Humpty Dumpty
Felt too tall

Next Humpty Dumpty
Sat on the floor
But Humpty Dumpty
Felt too small

So Humpty Dumpty
Sat on the fence
... How very painful

A Retelling of Snow White

The story of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves is subverted in a humorous poem which mirrors her famously vain Who's the fairest of them all? speech.

Style

Rhyming Poetry

Age Range

5-12

Length

8 lines

Mirror Mirror

Oh mirror mirror on the wall,
Why do you think I'm two foot tall?
Your height is right for seven dwarves,
But all I see is feet and calves.
I cannot see my face at all,
Unless I kneel, or sit or crawl.
So mirror mirror on the wall,
Whose knees are knobbliest of them all?

An Anaphorism

Aphorisms are clever little sayings which trip off the tongue; anaphorisms are their distant relations which seem to be saying something clever, but are really rather silly.

Style

Anaphorism

Age Range

7-13

Length

4 lines

Needs Must

As an Eskimo
Is to his igloo,
So a bald man
Is to his wig glue.

An Edible Shape Poem

A tasty little shape poem which features a feast of fonts and a slight leaning towards silliness.

Style

Shape Poem

Age Range

5-11

Length

18 lines

Examples of shape poems for Kids - The Leaning Tower of Pizza

A Discordant Note new poem

Flying the flag for poetry in a world where pop musicians live like kings and poets like paupers.

Style

Anaphorism

Age Range

7-13

Length

8 lines

Pop Goes

Yesterday I penned a poem
But the rhyme went wrong
So I set it to music
And now its a song

Sung by some pop tarts
It would top the charts
But poetry's a higher calling
Music merely caterwauling.

A Strange Confection new poem

A cinema trip is subjected to a rude and unusual interruption. Popcorn never behaved that badly!

Style

Anaphorism

Age Range

11-13

Length

8 lines

Silent Cinema

Relaxing in the cinema
Bathed in deathly hush
I opened up my box of chocs
And out came shouts and screams.

I slammed the lid and quickly hid,
As all around went "Shhhh"
It was a great mistake to take
A box of violent creams.

A Farewell Shape Poem

A shape poem, which uses the arrangement of words on the page to create an image or design to illustrate the subject matter. This is not a funny poem, but it is a suitable farewell.

Style

Rhyming Poetry

Age Range

6-14

Length

6 or 21 depending

Poeteer

A shape poem (really three shape poems) for kids

Ready for something stronger? Next stop the rude poetry
Funny Poems and Nonsense Verse for Kids
Copyright © Funny Poems for Kids / Patrick Winstanley 2002-2015 All Rights Reserved.
Individual poems are copyright of the stated authors and used with permission