This section about writing funny poetry is meant to be read by kids who want to write, create, compose or construct their own funny poems. Unfortunately, every title I tried - How to write funny poems for kids - How for kids to write funny poems - For kids, how to write funny poems - sounded either barking mad or completely wrong. Trust me, writing can be frustrating, but it can also be great fun.
Some people are better at writing funny poetry that others, in the same way that some people are better at singing, or swimming, than other people. The only way to find out is to try it. If you enjoy it, and other people like your poems, carry on; if not, take up singing instead.
The most important thing you need is a brain. It doesn't have to be particularly large, or fully functional, but you do need something grey and squishy in your head to generate ideas. Secondly, you need a pencil - any size, brand or colour will do. Finally you need something to write on. Paper will do, but if you're going to take your poetry seriously, a notebook will give you an authentic literary look. Assuming you already have the brain, the complete poetry creation kit will cost about £1 (or $2.00 for our transatlantic cousins).
Think short. I'm a firm believer that a short funny poem is going to be funnier than a long funny poem. I get scared when I see a poem over 10 lines long and know it's going to have to start, and continue, to be really funny if I'm going to read it to the end. Begin by writing poems that rhyme and, as your confidence grows, you can have a go at free (non-rhyming) verse. You don't need to buy a rhyming dictionary, as there are some very good free ones online. Decide on the element which is going to make the poem funny and then build the rest of the poem around it. Have a look at the following poem:
If you find that shoe shopping
Leaves you hopping
Literally, hopping mad
Pity the poor octopus
His problem's worse
Precisely four times as bad.
The idea was that an animal with lots of legs would find buying shoes very frustrating. Ideally the poem would have been about a millipede or centipede, but it was difficult to find a rhyme. So I tried spider, crab and finally octopus, and the elements all fell into place. I can't give you the ideas. Indeed, trying to teach people how to have funny ideas usually results in rather dull, unfunny poems. So wait for the ideas to come spontaneously, write them down in your notebook, then turn them into poems at your leisure - and if it's a chore rather than a pleasure, stop.
It's one thing to write the poems, but the interesting bit is seeing the reactions when people read or hear your poems. I would suggest that you try them out first on your friends, family, classmates and even, perhaps, your teacher. If they like them - make sure you ask them to be honest rather than just polite - then try to get them published in the school magazine, on the school website or in the local paper. Who knows, they might get spotted by a publisher and end up in a book, which is the point when you start thinking fame and fortune - and never having to go to school again.