Peculiar People - Funny Poems About Famous Folk

The 'famous people poetry' is further divided into funny poems about characters from the current era - 'figures of fun' - and those dragged from the depths of school history lessons - 'hysterical biographies'.

Hysterical Biographies

Kind Alfred, The Cake Burner

A funny poem about King Alfred, the English king from centuries ago who is remembered only for his failures in the kitchen.

Author

Style

Short Rhyming Poem

Age Range

5-11

Length

4 lines

A Stitch in Time

Ping! King Alfred opened the oven door
To reveal nine perfect cakes.
Oh, what a difference to history
A kitchen timer makes.

Sir Walter Raleigh, Intrepid Explorer

Sir Walter Raleigh is famous as the person who discovered all the things ending in 'o' - igloo, Plato, tobacco, Tokyo - in an attempt to impress Queen Elizabeth I.

Author

Style

Short Rhyming Poem

Age Range

7-14

Length

lines

Voyage of Discovery

‘Really, Sir Walter’, Queen Elizabeth said,
‘What is it with you men and your ships?
A woman would've nipped down the shops
For 20 Bensons and a bag of chips.’

World War 1

Sometimes a single, apparently innocuous event can have a dramatic effect on history.

Author

Style

Short Rhyming Poem

Age Range

10-14

Length

4 lines

One Hit Wonder

Archduke Franz Ferdinand
Has a lot to answer for.
He failed to dodge the bullets,
And so started the First World War.

Sir Isaac Newton

A funny little poem about Sir Isaac Newton and his explanation as to how he discovered the effects of gravity, a story he almost certainly made up to annoy his scientific rivals.

Author

Style

Rhyming Poetry

Age Range

7-12

Length

8 lines

Tree of Knowledge

The Newtons and friends were taking tea
Beneath the boughs of an apple tree,
When a falling fruit landed on the
Head of the head of the family.
Mrs Newton cried, 'Well deary me!
That could've caused an injury'.
But clever Isaac alone could see,
The situation's true gravity.

Figures of Fun

Dr Christian Barnard, Heart Transplant Pioneer

A short poem about Dr Christian Barnard, the South African surgeon who performed the first heart transplant operations.

Author

Style

Rhyming Poetry

Age Range

9-14

Length

6 lines

Heartfelt Thanks

Christian Barnard was the doc
Who pioneered the heart swop op.
When his patients all died,
Was he in disgrace?
No, because at least his heart
Was in the right place.

Paul Adams, Cricketer

This poem was inspired by Paul Adams, the South African cricketer, who has an extraordinary disarticulated action which was famously described as like a 'frog in a blender'. Don't worry, it's about a frog, not cricket.

Author

Style

Rhyming Poetry

Age Range

8-12

Length

5 lines

Mixed Message

A frog
A blender
No hope
No hop
Grof purée

Tintin, Fictional Detective

A poem in the logical progressions series, which takes you from the word Tutu to Tintin in five easy leaps. In this case, the progression allows only changing one syllable of the initial word with each verse and the poem has to come close to making sense.

Author

Style

Rhyming Poetry

Age Range

10-14

Length

15 lines

From Tutu to Tintin

A tutu's
A skirt
For girls who do twirls

A toucan's
A bird
Who shouts about stout

The can can's
A dance
All frills and cheap thrills

A tin can
Contains
Baked beans or sardines

And Tintin's
Plainly
A defective detective.

Batman

Most children, or perhaps more particularly boys, have superheroes - Batman, Spiderman, Catwoman... although it seems some superheroes are more accident prone than others.

Author

Style

Short Rhyming Poem

Age Range

5-10

Length

4 lines

Batman Comes Undone

Help, disaster, fire and smoke!
Robin's trod on Batman's cloak!
Torn a rip right up the back...
he'll have to wear his anorak.

Captain Hook

A puzzling poem about the fictional character Captain Hook who is central to the children's classic Peter Pan.

Author

Style

Rhyming Poetry

Age Range

8-14

Length

12 lines

Hook

There is something puzzling me
As it doesn’t say in the book
Before his hand was taken
What did they call captain hook

It’s a difficult one to answer
Maybe he was evil captain fist
Or was he called captain two hands
Not really a very menacing list

And was it simply irony, mere chance
Or was his accident planned
For if not for the crocodile
He would have remained a deck hand

Had enough of the famous. Try some funny family poetry
Funny Poems and Nonsense Verse for Kids
Copyright © Funny Poems for Kids / Patrick Winstanley 2002-2015 All Rights Reserved.
Individual poems are copyright the stated authors and used with permission