Hi, I'm Patrick Winstanley, a living (as in alive) English poet who believes that poetry should a fun activity enjoyed with family and friends, rather than a form of torture inflicted on children by their teachers. With the help on my fellow poets Paul Curtis, Max Scratchmann and Kate Williams, I've produced an exciting and unusual collection of funny poetry for kids. If you're not used to hearing the words 'poetry' and 'exciting' in the same sentence, please don't give up just yet, because these poems really are a little bit different...
This year's poetry competition is all about your close family members - mum, dad, brothers and sisters - and more distant relatives - aunts, uncles, grandparents and cousins.
Write a poem about an unusual uncle, embarrassing aunt, beloved brother or adorable sister and you could win a fantastic prize
If I haven't convinced you yet, perhaps the best thing is to dive straight in and try a few. As the saying goes, the proof of the poem is in the reading...
If you click on the funny poems button in the navigation on the left, you're taken to the poetry index. The poems are divided up into ten different types, which start with the cute and cuddly animal poems and end with some rather naughty poems. In between you'll find poems about families, famous people, school and sports, plus a rather odd category called odes and ends, for all the poems which didn't find a home elsewhere.
There is poetry in the collection suitable for all ages of children, from pre-school to primary school age. However, the collection is mostly aimed at junior school children, those aged between 7 and 11 years old. One section of the site, the rude poems, deserves special mention as it's really only suitable for older children. If you're not sure whether you should be reading the them, it would be a good idea to ask your Mum, Dad, teacher or a responsible adult first.
Sheep are my third favourite animal, after hippos and my cat Timmy, who you'll meet in the section called about the author's cat. (You'll have to visit the animal poems to discover my least favourite animals). Sheep are also quite intelligent, so they're not here just to make the site look pretty. As you visit the various sections of the site you'll meet different types of sheep and discover what they signify. Beware if you see a sheep sitting on the lavatory, as it means that the contents of that page may be rude.
As well as the funny verse, there are some other fun bits of the site you'll want to explore. Writing funny poetry gives a few hints on how to start writing your own comic poems and get them noticed by other people. About the author tells you a little bit about me and rather more about Timmy, my adorable little black cat who gets very upset if he isn't the centre of attention.