Short Funny Christmas Poems

If you share our view that shorter is better, you'll enjoy our selection of 4, 5 and 6 line funny Christmas poems which are clean, wholesome and equally suitable for reading at school or at home. Which just leaves time to apologies to dwarves, PORGs and others of restricted height.

Snowmen Are Rubbish At Cricket

Snowmen are rubbish at cricket
They only play when the snow falls
Even then they can’t hit the wicket
And they keep bowling snow-balls

When The Carollers Sing

When the carollers sing
Their Christmas verses
Open up your hearts
And open up your purses

I Got An Inappropriate Present

I got an inappropriate present
From my grandparents you know
Ordinarily a Slinky is a great gift
But not if you live in a bungalow

Handle Mum With Care

Mum gets really stressed out at Christmas
And you upset her if you dare
Because the result could be that you will
Be hung from the chimney with care

Lucy Wanted To Buy Her Granny

Lucy wanted to buy her Granny
A ladies handkerchief set
But in the end changed her mind
She didn’t know what size to get

The Magic Of Christmas Time

The magic of Christmas time
Is all the goodwill it brings
But sadly it gets packed away
With the other Christmas things

Jesus Was Exactly 7lbs When He Was Born

Jesus was exactly 7lbs when he was born
And they told every visiting stranger
And Mary and Joseph knew it was true
Because they had a weigh in the manger.

When Rudolph Arrived

When Rudolph arrived
Cupid was so pleased
It meant the other reindeer
Had someone new to tease

A Christmas Day Birthday

For those born on Christmas day
Parents have a great responsibility
So don’t wish them a happy birthmas
Or Merry Chrisday - It provokes hostility

We Have The Same Christmas Wine

We have the same Christmas wine
Every year on Christmas day
“I don't want any Brussels sprouts”
The family all shrilly say

When Santa Isn’t Working # 1

When Santa isn’t working
With a happy ho ho ho
He likes to tend his garden
With his Hoe Hoe Hoe

Arctic Education

At the North Pole
If an education is sought
You won’t get any training
Everyone is Elf taught

Do Not Eat Christmas Decorations

Do not eat Christmas decorations
They are not nutritious in the slightest
And apart from that very simple fact
You will end up with bad tinsilitis

The Young Elf Educationalists

The young Elf Educationalists
Have discovered an alarming theme
Those who struggle to learn the Elf-abet
Will in later life suffer low Elf esteem

Good King Wenceslas Ordered Out

Good King Wenceslas ordered out
On the feast of Stephen
An eighteen slice with extra cheese
Deep pan, crisp and even

The Christmas Party Is Over

The Christmas party is over
And so I guess
It’s now the time to wish you
A Happy Christmess

Copyright © Paul Curtis. All Rights Reserved

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A poem isn't just for Christmas. Enjoy them all year round!
Copyright © Funny Poems for Kids / Patrick Winstanley 2002-2017 All Rights Reserved.
Individual poems are copyright of the stated authors and used with permission