Funny Sports Poems

I must confess that I wasn't ever so keen on sport when I was at school. I was the right size and shape to play in the front row at rugby and I loved it, but football seemed to involve lots of running about aimlessly and cricket was just a good excuse for making daisy chains. Paul Curtis, our Poet in Residence, is the absolute opposite, someone who adores sport and writes funny poems about lots of different sports. At the moment, the selection of funny sports poem is fairly evenly divided between Paul's poems extolling the virtues of sport and my sports poems, which are in reality mostly anti-sport poems.

Macho Pursuits

A poem with lots of lovely alliteration - slipping, sliding, slapping, slopping - and a clarion call to boys who want to take up more interesting hobbies than the usual laddish pursuits of football and fighting.

Time's Up

The first time I read this poem I found it a bit scary, but it's got a funny twist in the tail. I like to think that it's a poem about rugby, as it reminds me of the sweaty exertion of the rugby scrum and the complete exhaustion that followed. Paul, who wrote the poem, assures me that it's about football and he should know best.

Fun and Games

Have you ever sat through morning lessons with the rain lashing against the windows, praying that afternoon games will be cancelled because of the weather? Be very careful about what you wish for, as you might very well find that it's a case of 'out of the frying pan and into the fire'.

Ballooning

Hot air ballooning might not be a proper sport, but it's fun, it's relaxing, and it's really quite dangerous. Or should that be pointless?

Botley Bill

A funny football poem about Bill Casey, the team captain and star player of Botley United Football Club. If you've never heard of Botley United, it's probably because they're not much good!

If at First

The title of the poem is taken from the traditional English saying 'If at first you don't succeed, try, try again'. Not always the most sensible advice, as we discover in Paul's funny poem about...   No, I'm not going to spoil it by telling you what sport it's about.

Beside the Seaside

There is a long and venerable tradition of children's poets writing funny poems about people peeing in swimming pools. The setting for this poem is the seaside, which opens up a whole ocean of possibilities.