About the Poem

A joke in the form of a poem. which should probably be termed a poke (and definitely not a joem).

Category

Very Rude Poems

Rating

Very rude

Style

Rhyming poem

Length

24 lines

Key Stage

KS2, KS3

Author

Paul Curtis

Bear Necessities

When in the North America forests
On holiday
Carry with you a whistle
And a can of pepper spray
Because you might meet a bear

A small bear eats mainly fruit
And the occasional squirrel
And can be easily scared away
With a sharp blast on your whistle
That’s how to deal with a small bear

A large bear won’t be frightened away
By a blast of your whistle
But a squirt of your pepper spray
Will do the trick not a lot just a little
That’s how to deal with a large bear

You can check if bears are in the area
By examining their droppings
If it smells of fruit
And contains squirrel fur
Then it was deposited by a small bear

However if the more dangerous large bear
Left its deposit along the way
It will probably contain a whistle
And it will smell of pepper spray

Copyright © Paul Curtis. All Rights Reserved

First rude poemPrevious rude poemVery Rude Poetry for KidsNext rude poemLast rude poem