Bad Children and Cautionary Verse

Max's Bad Children and Cautionary Verse is a selection of nonsense verse about naughty, wicked and sometimes really evil children. The Cautionary Verse element of the title suggests that there is salutary element, perhaps even a moral dimension to the poems, but this being nonsense verse you sometimes have to search quite hard to find it.

The Bad Boy, Horace McDougal

Horace is sent to jail for killing his mother, but after escaping from prison with a little assistance from Lill, the couple elope together. If you're expecting a happy ending, you haven't quite got the hang of Cautionary Verse yet.

Amanda Spick and Span

An unusual tale of a girl who has such a passion for cleaning she finally drives all her family completely round the bend.

The Goat Boy

How does one cure a boy who believes that he's a goat and behaves like one as well? Just for once, it appears that mother doesn't know best.

The Awful Story of Peedie Angus and the Soup Bowl

I must confess that when I first read the title of this poems, the phrase Peedie Angus and the Soup Bowl made me think it might be a very unpleasant poem indeed. Instead it's a simple tale of a very brattish, tiresome child who misbehaves outrageously in a restaurant. Until, that is, a fellow diner extracts a most fitting revenge.

Naughty Amelia Jane

Amelie Jane, the eponymous anti-hero of the poem, descends the slippery slope from naughty girl to grannicidal maniac in just five verses. Don't worry, there's lots of fun along the way, so long as you keep reminding yourself that it's all made up.