More Funny Animal Poems for Kids

Another amazing and varied selection of funny kids poetry about animals, which includes poems about amoebae, snails, bees and hornets (and I know none of these are technically animals, before the smarty-pants amongst you start getting shirty).

Scene of the Slime

This is a dark and menacing rhyme about the revenge that the author plans for the slimy garden invaders that are eating all his plants.

Dinosaur School Days

I could have put this one in the school poetry section, but whilst there are hundreds of poems about school, poems about dinosaurs are almost extinct. There's only one other dinosaur poem on the site, but its so rude I'm going to leave you to find it for yourself.

Dinner Question

A funny poem about a misunderstanding between a husband and wife. Yes, it is an animal poem, but you have to wait until nearly the end for the appearance of an adored pet.

Frankly My Dear

Another joke in the form of a poem, but this time with a rather clever jokey title as well. If you can complete the famous quotation 'Frankly my dear I don't give a....... ' from Gone with the Wind you (a) arrive at the punch line of the joke and (b) are much too old to be reading children's poetry.

Jim Pansy

Just the sort of animal poem that teachers adore. See if you can guess what sort of animal Jim Pansy is before all is revealed in the final line.

You Can't Teach An Old Cat Any Tricks

I had my cat Timmy firmly in mind when I wrote this poem. Although he clearly has a superior intellect, you could never train him to do anything. He is, however, happy to teach himself all sorts of useful tricks, such as catching squirrels or opening the fridge door when no-one is looking.

Davy Jones Disco

A funny poem which revolves around a glorious pun.

Huntin’ Shootin’ And Tippin’

A flippant verse about life in the countryside and two rather anti-social pastimes that take place there.

The Revenge Of The Crocodile

Crocodiles are sometimes the villains of the piece, killing people indiscriminately, and sometimes the victims, being killed and turned into handbags, shoes etc. So how would a crocodile extract its revenge?

Divide And Rule

A simple little rhyme about amoebae and their amazing reproductive abilities.

Bee and Bee

A humorous piece which contrasts the behaviour of two different bees, the bumble bee and the humble bee. Only after I finished the poem did I discover than humble bees and bumble bees are one and the same thing. Ooops, but it's still quite a fun pun poem.

The Girl Who Kicked The Hornets' Nest

From bees to hornets, and a poem by Max which is brilliant in its simplicity. It's just the sort of poem that appeals to boys who don't think they like poetry, because its short and silly, yet at the same time dark and slightly dangerous. It will also appeal to teachers because it's a great example of an onomatopoeia poem, but we'll leave the literary dissection until later.

The Centipede

A rather silly verse about the centipede, an insect which is best known for an abundance of limbs.

The Sting

An entrepreneurial honey bee makes some money by selling dodgy produce to unsuspecting customers.

This Talk Of Culling Badgers new poem

Don't worry, this 'badger culling' poem is much upbeat than the title suggests and the badgers end up on top, metaphorically at least.

The Wildlife Down Under new poem

If you dream of becoming a zoologist when you grow up, this poem will provide wou with food for thought.

My Cat Is A Fussy Eater 1 & 2 new poem

If you are a cat owner, you'll know that all cats are fussy eaters. However, Paul's siamese cat has some very exotic tastes indeed.

Pros And Cons For Becoming A Cat Owner new poem

As a cat owner myself, I'd have only good things to say about owning a cat. Unfortunately, Paul's poem picks up on the only possible disadvantage of cat ownership.

Nominative Determinism new poem

A rather silly poem with a somewhat pompous title which brings together two unlikely creatures, flies and gnus.

Reigning Cats And Dogs

A humorous poem about pet-owners choice of pet, which range from the everyday to the exotic.


Animals a little tame? Why not try some rude poems?
Funny Poems and Nonsense Verse for Kids
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Individual poems are copyright the stated authors and used with permission